Hardly To Be Discerned

“Good and evil grow up together in the field of this world almost inseparably, and the knowledge of good is so involved and interwoven with the knowledge of evil, and in so many cunning resemblances hardly to be discerned, that those confused seeds which were imposed upon Psyche as an incessant labor to cull out and sort asunder were not more intermixed.” – John Milton, Areopagitica, 1644

The 12 Hours of Cornerstone: A (Belated) Christmas Parody January 7, 2014

Filed under: Elizabeth's escapades! — Elizabeth @ 13:00

It was winter, 2010, and we three in the Medical Records department at Cornerstone Clinic for Women were running the daily gauntlet of locating patient charts. Our chosen theme song: U2’s “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For”. Hustle-and-bustle doesn’t begin to describe it. 4 days a week for 10, sometimes 12 hours, chart numbers buzzed through our heads and charts themselves miraculously disappeared before our eyes; “It was JUST there!” our constant refrain.

We dashed about, always searching, eventually finding, with only occasional success at stifling the yelp of joy that accompanied an actual discovery. All around us phones rang, patients waited, nurses nursed, schedulers scheduled, coffee brewed, and fax machines inevitably broke.

This was not an environment conducive to coherence, for us three anyway. Brains were scattered everywhere. Metaphorically. Under-breath mutterings of chart numbers and rushed half-sentences were expected of us as we prowled the halls and offices, perpetually on the hunt.

One day during a rare stroke of lucidity, a fellow MedRec (a.k.a. MedWreck) and I composed a parody of The 12 Days of Christmas that we hoped provided an accurate, light-hearted reflection of moment-to-moment life at the clinic.

We truly loved working there, and of course *always* remembered to look up and smile at the patients who made all our insanity worth every minute. Well, we tried. 🙂

This jovial, parodical offering goes out to all those who know and love that bastion of sound female fettle, Cornerstone Clinic for Women.

In the first hour of Cornerstone the clinic gave to me,
A cartridge in the mail machine!
In the second hour of Cornerstone the clinic gave to me,
2 coffee pots, and a cartridge in the mail machine!
In the third hour of Cornerstone the clinic gave to me,
3 MedRecs, 2 coffee pots, and a cartridge in the mail machine!
In the fourth hour of Cornerstone the clinic gave to me,
4 brain cells left, 3 MedRecs, 2 coffee pots, and a cartridge in the mail machine!
In the fifth hour of Cornerstone the clinic gave to me,
5 SCHEDULERS! 4 brain cells left, 3 MedRecs, 2 coffee pots, and a cartridge in the mail machine!
In the sixth hour of Cornerstone the clinic gave to me,
6 scanners scanning, 5 SCHEDULERS! 4 brain cells left, 3 MedRecs, 2 coffee pots, and a cartridge in the mail machine!
In the seventh hour of Cornerstone the clinic gave to me,
7 doctors running, 6 scanners scanning, 5 SCHEDULERS! 4 brain cells left, 3 MedRecs, 2 coffee pots, and a cartridge in the mail machine!
In the eighth hour of Cornerstone the clinic gave to me,
8 lines a-ringing, 7 doctors running, 6 scanners scanning, 5 SCHEDULERS! 4 brain cells left, 3 MedRecs, 2 coffee pots, and a cartridge in the mail machine!
In the ninth hour of Cornerstone the clinic gave to me,
9 charts a-missing, 8 lines a-ringing, 7 doctors running, 6 scanners scanning, 5 SCHEDULERS! 4 brain cells left, 3 MedRecs, 2 coffee pots, and a cartridge in the mail machine!
In the tenth hour of Cornerstone the clinic gave to me,
10 nurses nursing, 9 charts a-missing, 8 lines a-ringing, 7 doctors running, 6 scanners scanning, 5 SCHEDULERS! 4 brain cells left, 3 MedRecs, 2 coffee pots, and a cartridge in the mail machine!
In the eleventh hour of Cornerstone the clinic gave to me,
11 faxes faxing, 10 nurses nursing, 9 charts a-missing, 8 lines a-ringing, 7 doctors running, 6 scanners scanning, 5 SCHEDULERS! 4 brain cells left, 3 MedRecs, 2 coffee pots, and a cartridge in the mail machine!
In the twelfth hour of Cornerstone the clinic gave to me,
12 patients waiting, 11 faxes faxing, 10 nurses nursing, 9 charts a-missing, 8 lines a-ringing, 7 doctors running, 6 scanners scanning, 5 SCHEDULERS! 4 brain cells left, 3 MedRecs, 2 coffee pots, and a cartridge in the mail machine!

Advertisements
 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s