Momentary Madness with Magnets

November 22, 2010 § 1 Comment

In view of the fact that it has once again been quite a while since the last post, one might expect that I would write something meaningful and/or poignant, or at least provide something by nature of “update”.  This will not be the case. This evening’s blog is entirely for your entertainment.

My sister has something which I very much covet.  Other than her brain.  It is two packets of those refrigerator-magnet-words; a normal one and a “Shakespearean words” version. When she had her own apartment in this area I would have some fun with these whenever I stopped by…

Nearly a year ago now, my dearest friend (former college roommate) Lester (you know who you are) came to visit. One afternoon while Becca and I were both at work, we left her to cozy up at said apartment until I got off. She noticed the refrigerator doors, and took it upon herself to add to them. Being no less brilliant than my sister, and having her own particular brand of humor, the results were downright hilarious. Between the three of us those doors were covered in a smattering of the pithy and profound, the preposterous and playful.

One evening, before the sister moved, I made sure to write them down. Below is a selection of choice phrases assembled by myself, Becca, and Lester. A few I will leave off mentioning here, as they are not,*ahem*, for mixed audiences.

–yonder garden will be discontent
–hence let winter forswear nature
–wherefore dream said some mother
–come hither, smooth sea leg
–new world now
–would that mercy, grace and fortune could curse mischance
–ne’er tempt our mortal ghost
–farewell seemly trifle
–perchance resurrect the ghost
–speak friend and deceive
–hell must like these spines too
–never be frantic about men
–belch after wine
–damn him for a vulgar villain
–shalt death strike my wicked lover
–tell the tale of your melancholy
–love’s gentle whisper will create drunkard
–methinks her man is a loathsome torment
–Lester or death   (definitely mine, put there while missing my friend; I combined the “lest” and “er” magnets)
–envy has drunk of thine goblet
–jest do it
–strike me lest I smell like much crack
–question where temptation ends
–haste Messiah
–only poison merry wench
–alas, man seek’st my only heart
–his lordship will not quench this fair lady

Now tell me that wasn’t fun?  =}

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